顯示具有 包容 標籤的文章。 顯示所有文章
顯示具有 包容 標籤的文章。 顯示所有文章

2012年11月24日 星期六

緣份, 是找到包容你的人

有一個男人, 為了參加第二天的小學同學會,特地上街, 買一條新長褲。 A man bought a new pair of trousers for his primary school mates’ reunion dinner. When he tried out at home, he found that the trousers were too long by 10cm. 他回家穿上後,卻發覺長度多了十公分。於是請求媽媽替他改。媽媽說,身體不舒服,想早一點休息,今晚不想改。 He asked his mother to help him shorten the pants. His mother said she could not do it as she was not feeling well and would like to rest early. 於是, 改請求太太替他改。太太說,還有許多家事要做,今晚沒有時間改。 So the man approached his wife to shorten his pants. His wife said she was very tired and had a lot of work to do that night, so she could not help him to shorten the pants that night. 於是, 改請求女兒替他改。女兒說,今晚跟男朋友約好去跳舞,沒有時間改。 Then the man asked his daughter. His daughter apologized for not able to do it that night because she had agreed to go dancing with her boyfriend 他想想,既然如此,明天穿舊的長褲去同學會也可以! "Ah well!" The man thought and decided he could wear his old trousers to the reunion. 當天晚上,他媽媽心想:「兒子平時對我很孝順,他開口要求總不好拒絕他。」於是,起來替兒子改長褲,剪短了十公分。 Later that night, his mother thought to herself, "My son has been very nice to me. I ' ll just help him to shorten his pants before going to rest." So she shortened the pants by 10cm. 他太太稍晚做完家事, 心想:「老公平時很有耐心,今天他是不會縫針線才開口要求,總不好拒絕他.」於是替先生改長褲,剪短了十公分。 Then his wife finished her work and thought," My husband knows I am always very busy and seldom asked me to help him. I would oblige him today." So she shortened the man ' s pants by another 10cm. 他女兒晚上回來:「爸爸不阻止我去跳舞,實在是開明的老爸,今天實在應該替他修改長褲。」於是替爸爸改長褲,剪短了十公分。 His daughter came home from dancing, and thought, "Papa loves me very much and when I declined to shorten his pants, he was not angry at all! I would help him to shorten his pants." So she shortened her daddy ' s pants yet another 10cm. 第二天早上,三個女人分別告訴男主人此事。他一試長褲,已經變成吊腳褲了。 On the next day, the three ladies told the man that his pants were shortened. He tried them on and found that his pants had become shorter by 30cm! 他的反應「是...............」哈哈一笑,說:「我一定要穿去給同學看,告訴他們,我的媽媽、太太、和女兒對我多好。」 His reaction: He laughed heartily, and said, "I must wear this pair of pants to show my schoolmates that my mum, my wife and my daughter are such loving people." 結果,老同學們一致稱讚他家庭經營成功。他的媽媽、太太、和女兒也都很高興。 At the dinner, his old classmates were very envious of his loving family. His mother, wife and daughter were very happy to learn about his classmates ' reaction. 如果您是故事中的男人或女人,當下您會做何反應?「哈哈一笑」抑或「破口大罵」? What would you do if it happened to you? Have a good laugh, or start swearing? 如果形容人類是一種「出門高E.Q,回家低E.Q」的動物,我想一點兒也不誇張。 Many of us have "High EQ" when dealing with people outside the family, "Low EQ" when dealing with our own family members! This is not an exaggeration at all. 人,面對外人時,總是可以表現得雍容大肚、心平氣和,但面對自己最親近的家人,卻往往一點小事,就足以皺起眉頭,甚至出言相傷。多拿出一點耐心與幽默感給家人吧!否則您自己也不會快樂,不是嗎?

2012年3月2日 星期五

洪蘭:逆境與珍珠

轉載自

作者:洪蘭

http://www.commonhealth.com.tw/article/article.action?id=5018396&page=2

 

我在美讀書時,我的室友是日本人,她有一顆珍珠是她母親在她離開日本赴美求學時給她的。她們家世代採珠,在她離家前,她母親鄭重的把她叫到一旁,給她這顆珍珠...

告訴她說:「當女工把砂子放進牡蠣的殼內時,牡蠣覺得非常的不舒服,但是又無力把砂子吐出去,所以牡蠣面臨一個選擇,一是抱怨,讓自己的日子很不好過,另一個是想辦法把這粒砂子同化,使它跟自己一樣,和平共存。於是牡蠣開始把它的精力營養分一部分去把砂子包起來。當砂子裹上牡蠣的外衣時(雲母殼,即碳酸鈣),牡蠣就覺得它是自己的一部份,不再是異物了。砂子裹上的牡蠣成分愈多,牡蠣愈把它當做自己人,就愈能心平氣和地和砂子相處」。

牡蠣並沒有大腦,它是無脊椎動物,在演化的層次上很低,但是連一個沒有大腦的低等動物都知道要想辦法去適應一個自己無法改變的情境,把一個令自己不愉快的異己,轉變為可以忍受的自己一部份,人的智慧怎麼會連牡蠣都不如呢?

打好手中的牌

珍珠的故事我聽過很多,但是很少是從牡蠣的觀點來看逆境的。人生總有很多不如意的事,如何包容它,把它同化,納入自己體系,使自己日子可以過得下去,恐怕是現代人最需要學的一件事。

尼布爾(ReinholdNeibuhr)有一句有名的祈禱詞說「上帝,請賜給我們胸襟和雅量,讓我們平心靜氣的去接受不可改變的事情;請賜給我們勇氣去改變可以改變的事情,請賜給我們智慧去區分什麼是可以改的,什麼是不可以改變的。」

人是演化來的動物,在大自然中,本來就應該和其他的動物一樣為生存而奮鬥,不應該期待事事順利。要知道在大自然之中,挫折是常態而不是例外,動物出外覓食時都不知道是否找得到食物,也不知道今天是否能安全地返航,回到溫暖的窩去期待明天的旭日東昇。

 

人類憑什麼一有挫折便怨天尤人,跟自己過不去呢?

今日社會上憂鬱症、自殺率這麼高,是否是我們沒有教給孩子一個正確的人生觀,告訴他們,打牌時,拿到什麼牌不重要,如何把手中的牌打好才是最重要。凡事固然要講求操之在己,但是在沒有主控權的事上,是否也應該學習牡蠣,有容乃大,使自己的日子好過一些呢?

(作者為陽明大學教授)